Our actions have an impact on others, sometimes it is a good impact and sometimes not. Each of our actions has an intention and an impact. We tend to assume a person's intention based on the impact of their actions on us. If the impact on us is negative, we assume that the intention was bad, but good intentions can have a negative impact.

Self Fulfilling Assumptions

When we assume another's intentions towards us are bad they can easily develop into a self fulfilling downward spiral.

  • I assume you have bad intentions towards me - you didn't speak to me when I saw you in the supermarket and I assume you don't want to speak to me.
  • Which affects my behaviour towards you - so I won't speak to you.
  • Which affects how you behave towards me - which makes you ignore me.
  • Which confirms my ideas about your intentions - which confirms what I thought the first time.

And so we go around the cycle developing a downward spiral.