From our experience of working with a range of Quaker communities, we are aware that many meetings struggle to deal with alternative points of view in a positive and loving way. We know too that by building expertise in dealing with these situations, the risk of damaged relationships, conflict and fractured communities can be lessened.
We called the conferences with the intention of working with Friends who have skills and experience in this area to look at what support we might offer Friends. We held two ‘day conferences’ in March in Bristol and York, where we began to explore the practical steps we could take to develop deeper relationships and acquire the essential skills that strengthen our communities to become more resilient and to better hold differences without division.
These conferences were not training days. They were crucibles: intended as safe, brave spaces where interested Friends met to consider the challenge of holding differences in a more loving way. How we might do this better? How we might best prepare and place emphasis on living peaceably together in Quaker community? with the intention to identify the first practical steps that will enable us to become true 'patterns & examples'.
An extensive set of notes is available here: Combined notes from both days
What are the next steps?
We plan to continue to connect with groups and individuals who may be involved in this work. Our aim is to build a network of Friends and groups who can respond to and support meetings experiencing conflict and to work with communities to build resilience and understanding to help mitigate the impact conflict so often has.
We hope to hold another meeting in November, possibly in Birmingham.
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Your voice matters
An important part of the conferences was to hear the witness of participants. So we could hear voices, we invited personal testimony. We are still open to receiving this.
- A "personal testimony": we would like to hear about what is coming up for your Quaker communities. What is your experience of holding difference? What happens when we can’t hold things as lovingly as we'd hope. In your sharing – what positive things helped? or, in hindsight, might have helped? What was the impact on you? We also welcome contributions in artistic form or poetry if you are prompted to respond in this way. It might be a drawing, a poem or some other creative response: these are particularly welcome.
Do please anonymise the writing if you are able.
We would welcome a maximum of one page (400 words), ideally a little less.
- Do you have experience of training (individual or group) that helped to develop the skills needed to create strong loving relationships? These might be offered by Quakers e.g. Woodbrooke or The Kindlers, or externally e.g. Place for Hope. We'd like to hear what you felt about the training and whether it impacted on how you are within your Quaker community. We hope to use this information to supplement a list of useful resources which we are planning to make available.
Please get in touch via the Restoring Relations contact page.